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Unpacking Hidden Triggers in Couples Therapy: Is That the Child Within US?

How Couples Can Rediscover Connection and Build Resilience Through Couples Therapy



(Burning Man Sculpture - Image: Andrew Miller)


In the journey of love, couples often find themselves navigating through moments of frustration, disconnection, and misunderstanding. These feelings can stir up a whirlwind of emotions, leaving both partners feeling unheard and unseen. It can be a rollercoaster! And in the rollercoaster ride of relationships, we can find ourselves in unavoidable pit stops. But what if these bumps aren’t just surface-level squabbles? What if they’re road signs pointing to deeper, buried wounds?



Cue Childhood Baggage


What many don’t realize is that these seemingly surface-level fights often stem from these deeper childhood wounds and unmet needs that continue to shape our behaviors and interactions well into adulthood. These hidden triggers, buried beneath layers of time and past experiences, can manifest in ways that puts us in “Well, that's familiar” sort of patterns or fights. Partners may often find themselves reacting to situations based on assumptions, anticipations, and expectations rather than responding to the actual present moment. This dynamic can erode trust, communication, and intimacy over time, creating a distance that perpetuates cycles of pain and misunderstanding in the relationship.


Enter Couples Therapy

In therapy, we’re not just putting Band-Aids on arguments. It’s important to be aware of where the actual problem at hand ends, and where our own stuff begins. How much of that fight is about the actual conflict, and how much of it is really about our fear of repeating past pains? That’s why in couples therapy we explore how past experiences color your present perceptions, interpretations and interactions, and we uncover the “why” behind the “what”.

 

You also learn not just to hear each other but to truly listen, peeling away layers of defensiveness to reveal vulnerability and strength. You also learn how to talk, literally how you can phrase your sentences, so that the conversation actually goes where you want it to go – not South!

 

As we navigate through past hurts and present challenges you’re facing, you and your partner build a bridge—one sturdy enough to support deeper understanding and trust. Therapy then becomes a journey where you rediscover the person you fell in love with beneath the layers of hurt, habit, and resentment.



Moving Forward

 

And it’s not just about the past. Let’s not forget the future! Therapy equips you with tools like communication strategies, conflict resolution techniques, and even a set of phrases to pull out when you need to. These are all part of the toolkit that helps you navigate future bumps in the road with a newfound sense of unity.



Ready to unpack those hidden triggers? Reach out or book online to start our journey toward rediscovering the joy of connection.


Looking to see results FAST? Check our Intensive Couples Therapy Program!

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